


Come in from the Cold

by bamf_librarian (librawrian)



Series: Soul of Winter [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bad Days, Brief mention of past sexual abuse, F/M, Finally, Fluff, Growing Attraction, Kissing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Smut, They do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 06:51:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/librawrian/pseuds/bamf_librarian
Summary: Part 3 of Soul of Winter series.  James (Bucky) and Sarah are soulmates.  They've gone through hell, escaped Hydra and are working through recovery together.  They explore the physical aspect of their soulbond.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was *not* supposed to be the one where they have sex. And yet...

On bad days James wouldn’t leave the bedroom.  He’d turn over in bed, shake Sarah awake and ask her to leave.  Sarah was crushed the first time it happened.  She spent the day crying in the second bedroom.  James gradually came out of his episode by dinner time and was inconsolable when he realized how he’d hurt her.  Still, that didn’t stop him from asking her to leave again when it happened two weeks later.  Sarah got used to the routine.  They’d have a few good weeks.  James was remembering more and more of his past life and able to hang on to reality and then he’d wake up with a sudden sinking feeling in his gut and then...nothing.  No emotion, no flashbacks.  Just the cold, calculating voice of the asset in his head and the knowledge that Sarah was a liability and would need to leave.  

 

The episodes lasted all day, sometimes a day and a night.  He always came out of it the same way, with the sudden realization that Sarah wasn’t there anymore, and  _ where was she? _  And  _ was she safe? _  He’d panic until he found her and then curl his body around her tiny form, sinking onto the nearest soft piece of furniture and holding her until he felt secure again.

 

Sarah accepted everything that came with James including these dark hours.  She’d get up, sleep for a couple more hours in the spare room and then go about her day.  She grew more daring and more comfortable the longer they lived in the tower.  She even formed an unusual friendship with Thor, whose sporadic, effervescent appearances always seemed to overlap with these times when she needed a friend.  Thor found her hilarious and called her his “tiny human.”  They would go out with Steve to the movies or lunch.  Sarah thought they looked hilarious in their “regular Joe” disguises.  She worried about James, of course, but she knew he preferred it when she spent her day happy and with friends when he couldn’t be there for her.

 

They got by.

 

***

 

Today was a bad day.

 

Sarah woke up a few minutes before James with a feeling of dread and she knew it.  She lay curled up on her side, James snuggled into her back, his face pressed into her hair.  She lay there trying to keep her breaths slow and steady to avoid waking him.  She enjoyed the sweet warm caress of his breath on the back of her neck, the feeling his fingers just brushing over the swell of her hip.  His legs cradled her from behind and she couldn’t help the silent thrill she felt being so intimately close.  They’d been sharing a bed for years.  But now that she was older and they were free, she’d begun to feel a subtle shift between them.  Now when they touched it wasn’t born out of necessary comfort, it was just to feel each other.  She loved the feeling of his arms around her as they both drifted to sleep.  Nothing more had happened...yet.  But she could feel the promise of it stirring deep within her each night.  And she was sure by the warmth of his breath and the pressure of his fingers that he felt it too.  

 

But not today.  Today was going to be a bad day.

The sudden tension in James’s muscles announced his waking.  Sarah began to reluctantly pull away, turning over to face him and confirm her suspicions written across his face.  He’d shifted onto his back, his eyes burning holes into the ceiling but without the depth of expression he usually wore.  Sarah sighed softly and watched his profile for an indulgent minute, waiting to be dismissed.

 

He cleared his throat and said the words, “Sarah, you need to…”

 

“I know,” she cut him off.  “I know, James.”

 

She sat up, her hair was a messy nest and her eyes were still swollen with sleep, she gazed down at him for another minute before stirring to leave.

 

“Be safe today,” she said and, without thinking, leaned down and pressed her lips against his.  

 

It was meant to be a chaste good-bye kiss, but his lips quickly melted into hers and, to her astonishment, she felt his hands bury themselves in her knotted hair, gently but firmly grasping her head to keep her in place as he deepened the kiss.  His lips parted and his tongue darted out, trailing against her lower lip and gently seeking entrance.  She parted her lips allowing him to probe inside.  Her arms went weak and she collapsed onto his chest, snaking her hands up to his neck and sneaking under the collar of his shirt to caress the muscles of his shoulders.  He kept one hand in her hair while the other wandered lower, ghosting over her back to the strip of exposed skin revealed beneath her t-shirt.  His fingers left trails of heat in their wake as he dragged them up her bare side and rested his hand there, the palm just grazing the side of her breast.  Sarah let out a little whimper as the feeling of his hands on her skin went straight to her core.  She pressed her thighs together urgently, trying to relieve the building pressure.  She’d never been touched like this.  Every sensation was completely new.  Her breath came fast and heavy.  It was thrilling and scary at the same time.  But this was James.  Her James.

 

He broke the kiss, collapsing back into his pillow with a soft grunt and panting heavily.  Sarah perched with her upper body on his chest, staring down at his pink, swollen lips and breathing just as heavily.  When she finally caught her breath and dared to glance upward she saw his eyes glistening with amused satisfaction.  They were James’s eyes, not the vacant holes that stared into the abyss on bad days.  These were the eyes that teased her and crinkled when he laughed at some corny joke of Steve’s.  And...apparently the eyes that smoldered with passion after he’d just kissed her silly.

 

She scooted up until she was resting her head next to his on the pillow, drawing a hand toward his face and shyly tracing the outline of his lips with her finger.  Her own lips tugged upward into a tiny grin.  

 

“Do you still want me to go?”  she asked.

 

James huffed a laugh and turned fully toward her, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek, “No, baby.  You brought me back.”

 

***

 

So, Sarah discovered a new tool in her kit to help James during his recovery.  When a bad day seemed imminent they found that a caress, a kiss could sometimes bring him out of it.  Sometimes it worked...there were still days when it didn’t.  

 

But that first kiss had opened a door outside of which they’d been hovering for some time.  Now that the door was open they were free to explore the rooms beyond.  They took their time, kissing, touching.  James didn’t want to rush Sarah or himself.  For decades the only sexual contact the asset had was used as a weapon either by or against him.  The memories sickened him and he fought to keep his experiences with Sarah entirely separate in his brain.  This was pure and lovely.  They were meant for this and James didn’t want it sullied by poisonous memories.

 

***

 

It was a few weeks after that first kiss when it finally happened.  James had been gone for more than a day--on his first mission since being (more or less) cleared to join the Avengers Initiative.  The mission was recon only.  James wouldn’t be actively engaged in the field for a very long time.  But Sarah had fretted nonetheless.  When he finally stepped off the elevator she’d leapt into his arms immediately, almost knocking the exhausted man over.  

 

“Oh!  Thank God!  James, you can’t do that again!  You can’t leave ever again, okay?”  Her legs were wrapped around his waist and she was frantically alternating between kissing his face and the crook of his neck.  He was coated in dirt and sweat but she didn’t care, she clung to him like a koala bear and refused to let go.  Eventually he walked them into the bedroom, kicking the door shut and sinking down onto the bed with a soft  _ oomph! _

 

“Missed you too, baby,” he whispered, taking her face in his hands and placing soft little kisses over her lips.  Her hands dropped to her lap, squirming under the hem of his shirt and gently brushing the taught skin of his stomach.  James let out a low moan that vibrated through their kiss.  He leaned back and looked at her, his eyes soft and questioning.  She gave a small nod and that was all he needed.  He swept her up in a more passionate kiss, dragging her onto her back and kissing her into the mattress.  He paused long enough to yank off the constricting tactical vest and undershirt before lowering himself on top of her.  Sarah hummed in satisfaction as his bare chest pressed against her.  She frantically threw off her own t-shirt, blushing when she lay back in only her bra and pyjama shorts.  James smiled reassuringly, reaching a hand to brush over her collarbones, along the curve of each breast and peeking under the edge of the bra to brush swiftly over the bud of her nipple.  Sarah sucked in a sharp breath her hips bucking wildly at the sudden contact.  

 

James leaned down and kissed her slowly, “I love you.”

 

Sarah felt the heat of tears pooling in her eyes, “I love you too.”

 

His hands continued their exploration, running over the soft roundness of her belly, the gentle dip of her waist and the swell of her hips.  He dipped his fingers below the waistband of her shorts teasingly before retreating and running them up and down the ridges of her spine.  Then he traveled lower, ghosting his fingers along both legs.  His flesh fingers felt fiery hot on her skin, his metallic fingers left a trail of goosebumps in their wake.  Sarah shivered as he reached the apex of her thighs, he brushed over the heavy wetness of her sex through the thin fabric of her shorts and panties...and then retreated, going back to massaging the skin behind her knees.  He continued this, running his fingers over every inch of her body, teasing her most sensitive places again and again.  Finally Sarah grunted in frustration, “Please, James!”

 

Satisfied that she was ready James made quick work of removing his pants and underwear.  His cock sprang free, rigid and weeping with arousal.  Sarah couldn’t help but stare until James leaned down and captured her in another kiss.  She felt the hot weight of his cock settle between them, the wetness of precum rubbing into the skin of her stomach.  She moaned wantonly, bucking her hips forward and rubbing against him.  James growled and reached down between them pulling down her shorts and panties in one fluid movement before cupping her aching sex in his flesh hand.  Sarah whimpered and tried to grind herself against the heal of James’s palm.  She panted at the lovely friction of it, humping and rubbing herself against his hand to get off.  James watched her flushed face, her fluttering eyelids, and hooked a finger upward to penetrate into her slick folds.  Sarah gasped at the sudden intrusion, her eyes opening and locking with his.  James caught her in another kiss, pumping his finger into her slowly while teasing her clit with his thumb.  By the time he broke the kiss Sarah was panting and whimpering uncontrollably.  

 

James nearly lost control entirely at the beautiful little sounds she was making.  “Are you ready, Sarah?”

 

“Yes!  Yes, please, James, I’m ready!”  She panted.

 

James growled with lust.  He withdrew for a moment, retrieving a condom from the chest beside the bed.  Sarah whined unintelligibly at his sudden absence. Once he’d rolled on the condom he returned in short order,  rubbing the head of his cock through her folds before slowly guiding himself into her entrance.  He held there, allowing her to feel the stretch and taking the opportunity to lean down and suckle one of her nipples, grazing it with his teeth.  He reached a hand between their bodies to rub against her clit.  Once he had her nearly sobbing with pleasure he pushed forward, sinking into her to the hilt and slowly pulling back before sinking in again.  He set a controlled pace, watching her face for any sign of distress.  Sarah wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heels into the small of his back to draw him in deeper.  His pace picked up and Sarah cried out as his pubic bone ground against her clit with each thrust.

 

“Yes, yes, don’t stop, please.  Oh my god.”

 

James smiled above her.  He fisted his fingers into the flesh of her hips, holding her steady while he ground into her over and over.  As he felt his climax approaching his hands reached forward, one grasping, flicking, pinching and teasing Sarah’s breast, the other rolling the soft flesh of her clit between calloused fingers.  Sarah cried out as her orgasm rolled through her in waves.  Her vaginal walls clenched around his cock and milking it as he came.

 

James collapsed over her, their sweat slick bodies sliding against one another as he shifted so that they were both on their sides facing each other.  Sarah felt the lingering aftershocks of James’s orgasm as his cock twitched and softened within her.  It felt like every muscle in her bodies had been liquefied.  Her thighs were twitching and her hands shook as she lifted them to rest against the beating of his heart in his chest.  They lay there, entwined, panting and utterly sated.

 

“I missed you,” Sarah finally said.

  
“Missed you too,” James replied.


End file.
